Author Archives: The Ulster Fry.


Queen celebrates birthday with massive carry out in Belfast park

Queen celebrates birthday with massive carry out in Belfast park

The Queen celebrated her birthday by getting blocked in Botanic Gardens, the Ulster Fry has learned. A royal aide told us that the 90 year old monarch had ended up “completely snattered” after purchasing a substantial carry out from a branch of Winemark on the Lisburn Road this morning. We showed the off licence assistant


Banksy mural of Jim Allister appears on Belfast Peace Wall

Controversial street artist Banksy appears to have waded into Northern Irish politics after one of his murals appeared on a “peace wall” in North Belfast this morning. Surprisingly it seems that the guerilla artist has thrown his weight behind Jim Allister, as his latest work shows the outspoken TUV leader in a characteristic pose. According to our source


NI Electoral Office introduces Emojis to attract young voters

Amid fears that young people are “turned off” by the democratic process, the Northern Ireland Electoral Office is making the unusual step of adding Emojis to this year’s Assembly election ballot papers. “Something like 32% of under 25s vote,” claimed Deputy Chief Electoral Officer Pauline Booth. “The number falls to less than 5% of under 18s, and