The value of shares in County Tyrone has plummeted after two days of frantic trading on Wall Street. The crisis began yesterday on the New York Sticks Exchange, where all things culchie are traditionally traded. The turf price was the first...
Several consecutive days of sunshine have caused a massive shortage of baps for barbecues, experts have warned. As temperatures have soared the demand for baps has followed suit, leading some economists to predict that we will reach bap meltdown by Sunday if...
Following news that the proposed merger between Asda & Sainsbury's was in jeopardy, The Ulster Fry has learned the NI Parades Commission were the main objectors. "Whilst amalgamating the green and orange logos of these two leading supermarkets will not...
Invest NI have announced a huge cash boost to help local smugglers get ready for a post-Brexit criminal activity boom. "Smugglers are likely to be one of the big winners out of Brexit, so it's important that we give them...
A search operation to find someone actually serving customers at a local DIY super-store was abandoned today after all hope of finding anyone doing their job was lost. "I wasn't sure what sorta strimmer line to get for my yoke"...
Following the announcement that 3,500 jobs at Honda Swindon are to be lost, leave campaigner Boris Johnson has reminded Britons that they used to happily ride around the UK on horseback - and can do so again. "We Brits have...
Continued delays over planning have sensationally forced the owners of the proposed George Best Hotel in Belfast City Centre to rename the flagship accommodation after local weatherman Barra Best. The developers have been quick to put a gloss on the...
Paramilitary organisations from across Northern Ireland's political divide have joined forces to organise a recruitment fair aimed at attracting new members to deal with an anticipated upsurge in activity after Brexit. "Brexit offers favourable trading conditions across the paramilitary sector,"...
The owner of a Chinese takeaway off the Newtownards Road has unveiled an audacious marketing plan which will see all customers charged £16.90 for their meals. "For some strange reason all my customers shout 'yeoooooo!' when their order comes to...
With hundreds of Ryanair flights facing cancellation over unused vacation time, Secretary of State James Brokenshire has dramatically ordered work-shy MLAs to start earning their wages and take to the skies. "It's an ideal solution" he told a press conference earlier. "Much like pilots,...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...