A Kickstarter project promising to crowd-fund the services of an international assassin to take out celebrity shitehawk, Katie Hopkins, has set a new record on the site as the quickest start-up idea ever conceived. The campaign which began with a target goal of £100,000 has received 250...
Lazy people across the country have joined forces to condemn the TV charity extravaganza known as Sport Relief, describing it as "blatant exercise propaganda." In a hard hitting statement released today in lifestyle magazine Men's Fatness, the President of the...
Spoiler Alert! The newly released trailer for the next series of Game of Thrones has revealed just how hard the widely rumoured budget cuts have hit the flagship HBO show. Gone are the lavish CGI effects of previous seasons, with viewers instead...
There are fears of a mass boycott of tonight's Academy Awards amid growing anger that Northern Irish actors have once again been overlooked in the nominations. "It's criminal that the stars from back home have been passed over, again ," says our Hollywood...
Cult TV show Robot Wars returns to our screens this evening, but has been given a radical revamp due to the demands of pedantic insurance companies. Gone are the spinning circular saws, swinging axes and sharp spikes, replaced with slightly overheating tumble...
Han Solo's legal claim for a broken leg is all about getting a disabled parking bay at the Mos Eisley Spaceport, a former colleague of the smuggler has revealed. According to retired bounty hunter Greedo, Mr Solo has been interested in getting a blue...
New Top Gear presenter Chris Evans has been declared the winner of 'Friends Day' after hiring Joey Tribbiani to be his new co-presenter. Facebook users across the world spent the day competing in the super-annoying global event, taking turns to post highly original photos montages...
Fans of TV couch potatoes are in for a treat next week as publisher DeArseostini launch the latest of their collectible model building magazines - build your own life size Eamonn Holmes. "Our company is famous for its subscription collector...
The outgoing Irish government is understood to have called an emergency session of the Dail after it was revealed that members of Westlife and Boyzone are to join forces, amid allegations of serious fraud. "It's come to our attention that both Mister Duffy...
TV viewers are in for a shock on tonight's X-Factor as a singer in good mental and physical condition reveals to judges that both of his parents are still alive. Twenty-three year-old Jordan Jones bewilders the audience with the revelations on tonight's ITV show, which bookies say have already...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...