A new report by the NI Department of Employment has sensationally claimed that 'Today is Monday'. The shocking new revelation is based on the findings of top government analysts, who have secretly been studying the lifestyle patterns of Northern...
Decisions on potentially life saving operations will no longer be made by NHS staff, Chief Medical Officers have revealed. Previously doctors had agonised over every minor detail in order to establish the merit of each individual case. Now people can...
Despite eons of dull Facebook evidence that self-absorbed male humans have been taking moustache selfies for millions of years, political spoilsports, the DUP, today bizarrely claimed the practice is only a few thousand years old. "It's our belief that man...
People across the country are about to lose their shit it has been revealed, as everyone continues to enquire how everyone else managed to survive two weeks at home - with only 90 cans of lager, 10 litres of...
Hardened drinkers are becoming increasingly confused by the range of alcoholic beverages on offer in pubs and clubs, according to a report published today in local consumer magazine Wha? The article claims that pub goers were more content when limited to...
Following the success of Valentine's Day, in which millions of couples were pressured by society to prove they love each other by spending money on nonsense, the Government today revealed a further series of landmark days to remind people to do other everyday things they should be doing anyway. 'Don't be a Dick Day' is next and...
A report released today by the Department of Social Development has revealed that a staggering 84% of households in Northern Ireland still have at least one leftover Christmas decoration lurking - a full 9 months after the holiday. The study, carried...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...