A Belfast man is in intensive care after being subjected to repeated Baby Shark attacks whilst surfing the web with his kids. Traumatised Glengormley father, Martin Brody, told us he can't get the harrowing six hour ordeal out of his...
Whilst NI's communities bicker and burn each others flags, the real winner of Ulster's bonfire season is the local economy, which continues to flourish as tourists flock to Northern Ireland to enjoy the summer festivities. Sandra Peters of Tourism NI told us "Bonfires often get a hard time but people need...
Kevin Thingy off Channel 4's Grand Designs has joined a host of other celebrities to lead a campaign to save the iconic crown that stands in Larne's Circular Road roundabout. "It's an amazing piece of architecture," said the presenter, "one...
Northern Ireland is suffering from a plague of molluscs after local politicians inadvertently issued press releases appealing for clams over the marching season. It is understood that their request was relayed to God, who took it at face value and added...
Twenty-seven people were arrested across the Province this morning, as part of a new PSNI operation to stamp-out the illegal ‘rigging’ of domestic electricity meters. The illicit practice has become increasingly popular in recent years, as NIE customers use special...
As Northern Ireland awoke to the news that some over-eager political party activists may have used the media to sway public opinion on key political issues by calling into a radio station, the Norn Iron Telegraph issued a stinging "hands off" rebuke to any...
A boy from Comber is now permanently disfigured after failing to listen to his mother's warnings about the dangers of making faces in windy conditions. 12-year-old Billy Nutsack was pulling faces at his younger brother during a family outing to...
Following a survey of his fridge late last night, outgoing First Minster Peter Robinson called an emergency meeting of the NI Executive this morning, where it was unanimously decided that 2016 'will start on Monday’. "Like the rest of the people of Northern Ireland I was...
Sinn Fein Lord Mayor of Belfast, Harder Arson, has sensationally appeared before local magistrates this morning - charged with not paying the TV licence for the big screen outside City Hall. "He just told me straight to my face they didn't have a TV then...
In an exclusive interview with The Ulster Fry Belfast's first million pound bus lane camera has vowed to spend his new found wealth by living as extravagantly as possible. "You're only young once," explained one-year-old vehicle recognition device, Otto Focus....

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...