Sources close to the security services fear that the apparently placid gaggle of Goths that hang around Belfast City Hall are, in fact, a ruthless terrorist group intent on seizing control of the city's government. "Many of us pass them...
Anyone hoping to see a GP in Northern Ireland has been urged to ''book early if they want an appointment". "If you think you're likely to be sick, it's best to plan well in advance," said Dundonald doctor Hope Enwide....
The PSNI has set up a special unit to deal with an upsurge in huge illegal dance events in rural areas across Northern Ireland, The Ulster Fry has learned. The Division Against Non-legal Culchie Events (known as the D.A.N.C.E squad) was established after...
With the country already in turmoil following the collapse of the NI Executive, Ulster's political crisis deepened even further today following revelations of widespread disagreement at Stormont about to where to keep the tomato ketchup. "Constantly blaming each other for wasting public...
Following widespread public outrage that prominent sites across Northern Ireland could become dumping grounds for radioactive waste, Larne residents have stressed that it never did them any harm. "They've been been disposing of nuclear waste here for decades and we're...
Twenty-seven people were arrested across the Province this morning, as part of a new PSNI operation to stamp-out the illegal ‘rigging’ of domestic electricity meters. The illicit practice has become increasingly popular in recent years, as NIE customers use special...
The Queen celebrated her birthday by getting blocked in Botanic Gardens, the Ulster Fry has learned. A royal aide told us that the 90 year old monarch had ended up "completely snattered" after purchasing a substantial carry out from a...
Facebook supremo Mark Zuckerberg has revealed plans for a new Northern Irish antisocial-media site which will allow users to spew all manner of bigoted bullshit. Provisionally named Hatebook, the new platform is specifically designed for people who want to create...
There were unpleasant scenes in Belfast city centre today after a parade by the National Union of Mammies (NUM) almost descended into violence. The Mammies were taking part in their annual Mother's Day parade, when they were faced with a...
The people of Larne are celebrating this evening after a 54 year old local man set a new world record for the most impressive indoor fireworks display ever created. 44 year old Rowland Candle told us that he decided to...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...