The Education Authority has announced radical plans to deal with underachievement among working class Protestant boys here, including the addition of Bonfire Construction to the GCSE syllabus. Revealing the move, Chief Examiner Hugh Grade told reporters it would address a...
The PSNI have released details of a new Traffic Branch unit that will specifically target young males driving so called "hot hatches". "The Boy Racer Division is currently undergoing special training," said Superintendent Brian Cant, "tailored to allow them to first...
Following Mary Lou McDonald's comment that the new PSNI Chief Constable should be 'an outsider', police chiefs have sensationally called her bluff and offered the job to ISIS bride, Shamima Begum. "She may have just lost her British citizenship, but...
The whereabouts of dozens of tourists visiting Northern Ireland remains unknown at present, after 'rival gangs' operating in Belfast City Centre were seen forcing sightseers off the streets and into nearby vehicles earlier today. The situation began early this morning near Royal Avenue, after men in brightly-coloured jackets were...
Following the removal of sexy promotional girls from high profile events including Formula 1, darts and road racing, the Northern Ireland Parades Commission have announced they're banning provocatively dressed ladies from all future parades. "For too long now crowds at...
Police have confirmed that a Tyrone motorist has been detained after he failed to put his hand up to acknowledge a driver passing in the opposite direction. It is understood that 36-year-old Newton Stuart was recorded committing the offence by...
Following the news that many retired paramilitaries have fully embraced democracy and are using their influence to line their pockets, a new paramilitary organisation has been setup to tackle the criminal activity of old paramilitary organisations. "We've had enough of...
There was sporadic violence on the Glenshane Pass today after locals awoke to find that the famous Ponderosa Bar had been stripped of its 'Highest Pub in Ireland' title by a new establishment built a few hundred yards further...
A 45-year-old office worker from County Antrim has been dismissed from his job after repeatedly wearing socks with Saturday and Sunday on them during the week. It is understood that Broughshane man Gilbert Sole used the ploy to allow him...
St Patrick's Day is to be moved to the Twelfth of July in an attempt to find some half decent weather that might allow people to leave the house. The plan follows a series of high level talks between the...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...