With Derry still in shock and mourning following the brutal murder of Lyra McKee, The Ulster Fry have discovered that a gang of organised criminals in the city are grooming kids to carry out vile acts for their own...
Protestants and Catholics actually 'get along grand' claims an undercover investigator, who says community tensions in NI are perpetuated by a team of voice actors who phone into radio stations to make bigoted rants. "We've discovered a group of actors...
Black wheelie bin collections in Belfast may be limited to the same days that the flag flies on city hall, the Ulster Fry has learned. The move would see bins collected only 18 times a year, though this will drop...
Police have confirmed that a Tyrone motorist has been detained after he failed to put his hand up to acknowledge a driver passing in the opposite direction. It is understood that 36-year-old Newton Stuart was recorded committing the offence by...
Community relations in Northern Ireland have been given a much needed shot in the arm with a plan to twin towns across the community divide. The scheme is the brainchild of top academic Professor Colin Glen, who argues that there's...
The Education Authority has announced radical plans to deal with underachievement among working class Protestant boys here, including the addition of Bonfire Construction to the GCSE syllabus. Revealing the move, Chief Examiner Hugh Grade told reporters it would address a...
The PSNI have released details of a new Traffic Branch unit that will specifically target young males driving so called "hot hatches". "The Boy Racer Division is currently undergoing special training," said Superintendent Brian Cant, "tailored to allow them to first...
The whereabouts of dozens of tourists visiting Northern Ireland remains unknown at present, after 'rival gangs' operating in Belfast City Centre were seen forcing sightseers off the streets and into nearby vehicles earlier today. The situation began early this morning near Royal Avenue, after men in brightly-coloured jackets were...
Following the removal of sexy promotional girls from high profile events including Formula 1, darts and road racing, the Northern Ireland Parades Commission have announced they're banning provocatively dressed ladies from all future parades. "For too long now crowds at...
Following the news that many retired paramilitaries have fully embraced democracy and are using their influence to line their pockets, a new paramilitary organisation has been setup to tackle the criminal activity of old paramilitary organisations. "We've had enough of...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...