After 300 years of symbolically being burnt at the stake, the Apprentice Boys were last night forced to improvise the death of Robert Lundy because it wouldn't stop pishing down. "Feck we tried everything to burn the hoor" admitted Apprentice...
Councillors in Lisburn and Castlereagh have sensationally voted to support a ban on the sale of the popular corn based snack Monster Munch in schools across the district. Downshire East DUP representative Carson Robinson had proposed the controversial motion, arguing...
There is growing consternation in Republican circles today amid rumours that several senior members of Sinn Fein, including leader Gerry Adams, have accepted awards in the Queen's Birthday Honours list. The information came to light after Mr Adams tweeted a photo of himself alongside...
Tourism in Northern Ireland received a welcome boost today after it was announced that Belfast City Council is to pay for the erection of a huge statue of popular TV presenter Eamonn Holmes. As our quite poor artist's impression shows, the...
There was anger and dismay in tourism circles this morning after it emerged that Prince Charles had given Northern Ireland a 1 star review on the popular travel site Shitadvisor. Mr Wales has been here for a couple of days...
Following reports that The Sun newspaper was dropping their long running ‘Page 3’ feature, Ulster’s media outlets have jumped at the opportunity to increase their own sales - by bringing the popular topless column to the NI market. As news broke that...
Following a series of diminishing returns at the box-office, The Ulster Fry have discovered that former Autobots leader, Optimus Prime, has been forced to take a lowly minimum-wage job as a Translink Metro Bus. Metrobus Prime's exact route is a...
Following sensational scenes at Castlecourt today in which a naked woman was smothered in HP sauce, the shopping centre have denied rumours that she'll soon be available in a bap. "Our protest was supposed to put people off meat!" said a disgruntled Sonya Vanilla-Latte from PETA. "So...
Everyone in Northern Ireland thinks that the people of Holywood have their heads firmly up their arses for thinking the town's maypole is class, the Ulster Fry can reveal. While most of us spend the May Day holiday nursing hangovers or arguing with...
The United Nations has been forced to declare a State of Emergency in Belfast after a change in the city's bin collection rota led to widespread disorder. Attempts by the City Council to roll out the new schedule ended in...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...