Emergency services have been called to the Houses of Parliament amid fears that East Antrim MP Sammy Wilson's head may explode at any moment. It is understood that Mr Wilson spent the afternoon giving news interviews about Boris Johnson's proposed...
Boris Johnson claims to have negotiated a "great new deal" with the EU, which could see Brexit go ahead on October 31. It's all very confusing, so our panel of experts is on hand to answer all your questions. Where...
Boris Johnson is set to unveil audacious plans for a string of inflatable customs posts along the Northern Irish border. In an exclusive interview with The Ulster Fry the Prime Minister revealed what he called  the 'ultimate Soft Border solution'. "Look,...
Former Sinn Fein President Gerry Adams has denied that there are any stories in the paper today about him denying IRA membership. Mr Adams was speaking to a press conference launching The Gerry Adams Guide to Kittens, the latest book...
The rest of the UK has finally caught up with trailblazing Northern Ireland, after Westminster was suspended to allow MPs to lay around on their hole whilst still getting paid. "Northern Ireland has always been light years ahead of us...
In a move that will undoubtedly anger nationalists, Boris Johnson has agreed to DUP demands to abseil down Belfast's City Hall waving union jacks on designated flag days. "I love getting high and where better to do it than right...
Following the news that Secretary of State Karen Bradley has been sacked, Boris Johnson has reassured people in Northern Ireland that her replacement, Julian Smith, will be just as ineffective - with a similar lack of interest and knowledge. "We...
With several leadership contenders admitting that they've taken illegal substances, the Conservative Party has decided to bite the bullet and choose the next Prime Minister on their ability to take copious amounts of drugs. The Ulster Fry understands that Boris...
An new opinion poll has revealed that after the two recent elections most people are sick of the sight of our politicians and would like them to p**s off for a few months so they can watch normal TV...
With milkshake attacks on unpopular high-profile people now commonplace, Northern Ireland's leading dairy producer, Dale Farm, has warned that we face severe milk shortages if the trend spreads to here. "We just don't have enough dairy cows producing milk to...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...