The UK will be allowed to sleep in the garden for two years after leaving the EU, the Brussels Chief negotiator Michel Barnier has revealed. "This will be part of a transition process," he explained, "You will be allowed in the...
Former DUP Spad (Special Adviser) Campbell Robinson-Williamson has very kindly agreed to join the Ulster Fry as an Agony Uncle. Here, he answers a few burning questions.... Dear Campbell, I'm a man in my mid-forties who's not very good in...
The Northern Ireland economy might be lagging behind in many areas, but if there's one thing we are good at, it's producing dickhead politicians. Our top 10 is 90% Shinners and DUPers, for no particular reason except there's more of...
A senior DUP politician is set to admit to murder, the Ulster Fry understands, as a twisted game of dare within the party, which sees players initiate a huge political scandal in a bid to get fired, escalates. "It all...
Following the revelation that global election results are being coerced by nefarious social media activity, local tech startup Jordanstown Analytica have admitted they've been manipulating NI voters on Facebook too. "Our practices aren't as sophisticated as them Cambridge smartholes," admitted...
The rest of the UK has finally caught up with trailblazing Northern Ireland, after Westminster was suspended to allow MPs to lay around on their hole whilst still getting paid. "Northern Ireland has always been light years ahead of us...
Boris Johnson claims to have negotiated a "great new deal" with the EU, which could see Brexit go ahead on October 31. It's all very confusing, so our panel of experts is on hand to answer all your questions. Where...
Theatre-goers and political pundits are in for a treat today as the long-running Stormont on Ice show returns for an astonishing 378th successive performance. The show sees some of Northern Ireland's greatest play-actors don their ice skates in what has...
MLAs across Northern Ireland have got up off their arses briefly to breathe a sigh of relief after Secretary of State Karen Bradley announced that she might get round to asking them if they were willing to take a...
Wales could be ceded to the Republic of Ireland under new Brexit proposals leaked to The Ulster Fry. The news follows reports that 47% of the UK population has now applied for an Irish passport, with officials in Dublin admitting...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...