A staggering 84% of stuff said in the so-called Brexit debate is bollocks made up by people who you wouldn't trust to look after your cat, The Ulster Fry can reveal. Tony Blair and John Major fly into Northern Ireland...
Following his controversial release from prison to serve the remainder of his sentence at home, the Ulster Fry has learned that 'blade runner' Oscar Pistorius has been ordered to relocate to a flat in the North Belfast housing estate...
An exhaustive investigation by The Ulster Fry Insight Team has uncovered convincing evidence that "High Street" Christmas Clubs are secretly recruiting members for terrorist groups across the globe. The clubs, supposedly designed to allow families to save for Christmas, have...
Fans of free speech had their throats ripped out by Satan this morning, after the Prince of Darkness instructed his solicitors to take legal action against a rogue satirical website, TheUlsterFry.com. A letter from Satan's lawyers (attached) claims that an article published on...
Stocks in Starbucks hit a three-year low this morning, following a ghastly ‘identify theft’ which left a customers life in ruins. The heartless crime took place just after 3pm yesterday, when a woman’s personalised ‘Grande’ Americano cup was stolen by...
After centuries of people saying how much they dislike the small green vegetables that garnish dinner plates each Christmas, sprouts have finally admitted they hate people too. "I know one oddball who still thinks humans are nice," revealed 3 month old...
A Hillsborough woman is said to be "spitting feathers" after that New York Times accent survey yoke that's doing the rounds said she had the same accent as people from Lisburn. 38-year-old Cassandra Campbell-Featherstone-Smythe told The Ulster Fry that she...
Tonight's meteor shower is set become the most watched in human history, after all the space-rocks involved were named after infamous celebrity douchebags in an attempt to make it more appealing to the general public. The event happens every August as Earth...
The people of America have woken up with a wild hangover and a bad smell in their hallway after inadvertently getting blocked for 18 months. Across the nation families were carefully opening little plastic containers and bags which they found...
There's turmoil in the financial markets, politicians are resigning left, right and centre, and no one seems to know whether we're in, out or kinda half way out with our mammy saying you can't go without a coat. However...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...