Officials at Buckingham Palace have stunned the world of royalty by announcing that Prince Harry will break with convention and marry his fiance Meghan Markle in a Gospel Hall outside Banbridge. The Prince has already visited the district, and is...
US President Donald Trump has revealed that he "really, really wants to go to Bangor" during his proposed visit to the UK in June. "Some good friends of mine, reliable friends, have told me that Bangor is a "must visit"...
Plans are being drawn up to secretly fly African dictator Robert Mugabe to Northern Ireland, so that he can take up the reins of power in Stormont. The Ulster Fry understands that, in the absence of a functioning executive, the...
Following years of research and development by emotionally unstable, passive-aggressive drunks, experts have finally recognised gin drinking as a new branch of science. "Consuming gin is now so complex and sophisticated that you need masters degree in chemistry to make...
After centuries of people saying how much they dislike the small green vegetables that garnish dinner plates each Christmas, sprouts have finally admitted they hate people too. "I know one oddball who still thinks humans are nice," revealed 3 month old...
After instigating trade disputes with China and Mexico, Donald Trump has turned his attentions to Northern Ireland and announced trade tariffs on NI exports. "We have many fine American companies making wonderful crisps, sausage rolls and five lighters for a...
Top archaeologists working in Egypt believe that the "huge void" they have discovered in the centre of Khufu's Pyramid  may be the Co. Armagh town of Portadown. The experts believe that the mysterious hole may finally confirm their theory that the entire Pyramid complex was built to...
World renowned scientist Sir Stephen Hawking has confirmed that there is indeed a "quare stretch in the evenings", as of today. Best known for his role in the movie "The Theory of Everything", Professor Hawking told fellow scientists that he...
Local hospitals are gearing up for a flood of severely disheartened travellers after the Lonely Planet Guide named Northern Ireland as the world's top destination for 2018. Doctors fear an outbreak of a rare disease called Underwhelmed Tourist Syndrome, which can flare up when the...
With Gareth currently causing property damage and travel chaos across the country, his mum has told the Ulster Fry that he's grounded when he gets home. "He was always such a good boy, I don't where I went wrong!" a...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...