Following the sad passing of renowned physicist Professor Stephen Hawking, the grim realisation that UTV weather villain Frank Mitchell is now the UK's leading scientist has sent shockwaves through the country. "It was either him or Brian Cox," explained top...
Prince Andrew sensationally faces the sack from his role in the Royal Family following his car crash interview on Newsnight, The Ulster Fry has learned. Our source in Buckingham Palace tells us that the Queen and Prince Phillip are set to...
The mysterious lack of staff on the tills of Lidl stores has finally been explained, after an undercover investigation conducted by The Ulster Fry revealed that they are all out the back running a global network of secret agents. Our...
The spiralling cost of hand sanitizing products caused by the Corona Virus outbreak has led to organised criminals muscling in on the trade, law enforcement officials have warned. The revelation comes after a...
US President Donald Trump has revealed that he "really, really wants to go to Bangor" during his proposed visit to the UK in June. "Some good friends of mine, reliable friends, have told me that Bangor is a "must visit"...
EU leaders have agreed to delay Brexit until after The Twelfth, amid growing fears that travel chaos would prevent Orangemen and bands from across Europe getting to the parades. It is understood that Theresa May made an impassioned plea to...
Officials at Buckingham Palace have stunned the world of royalty by announcing that Prince Harry will break with convention and marry his fiance Meghan Markle in a Gospel Hall outside Banbridge. The Prince has already visited the district, and is...
The seaside town of Portstewart has scooped the annual Town Most Up Its Own Hole award with an extra-time win over local rivals Portrush. Due to the Covid-19 restrictions the final was held...
Following years of research and development by emotionally unstable, passive-aggressive drunks, experts have finally recognised gin drinking as a new branch of science. "Consuming gin is now so complex and sophisticated that you need masters degree in chemistry to make...
Plans are being drawn up to secretly fly African dictator Robert Mugabe to Northern Ireland, so that he can take up the reins of power in Stormont. The Ulster Fry understands that, in the absence of a functioning executive, the...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...