Local petrol station unveils world’s biggest roadside milk advert

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A County Antrim petrol station owner is said to be “delighted with himself” after erecting the most ridiculously over-sized milk advert ever seen on the planet.

54-year-old Uel Tanker told The Ulster Fry that the ploy would put his station head and shoulders above the competition.

“It’s a cut-throat business out there,” he explained. “And we all know that what every customer wants when they come to get petrol is a) more milk than they’ll use in a week, and b) to spend 15 minutes trying to get back out onto the road because they can’t see past a massive sign advertising more milk than they’ll use in a week.”

Mr Tanker’s sign is so big that it has caught the attention of road safety inspectors.

“We came out and measured it last night,” said Elisha Beacon from whichever government department is in charge of stuff like that. “From what we can see it’s well within the guidelines for such structures, even if it does block half the road and could be a danger to low flying aircraft.”

Having hit the big time with his milk advertising, Mr Tanker intends to expand his marketing to further improve customer experience.

“From next month I’ll be making sure we only employ one half-wit to operate all three tills,” he told us, “and to give people time to enjoy their visit, it’ll be a minimum half-hour parking at each pump.”

“That way, everyone queued behind them will have time to fully appreciate that milk advert.”

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