Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window


In the aftermath of today’s Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation – which charges passengers to look out the window.

The new system has already been trialled on a select number of Ryanair’s Boeing 737 planes operating in Scandanavia, however it will now to be rolled out across their entire European fleet ‘within days’. Ryanair confirmed that passengers are able to gawk out the window for a good ‘two to three minutes’, simply by inserting a Euro into the coin slot provided.

As expected the announcement got a mixed reaction from passengers at Dublin airport today. “I didn’t really mind it as I slept most of the way” said Sligo man, Seamus Emirates. “But I do enjoy seeing the plane coming into land, so I spent 6 euro on watching that. It’s just as well I broke that €20 to buy two tiny cans of Heineken to be honest, the leftover change was just perfect.”

However not all travellers have seen the positive side. “It was awful flying into Stockholm,” complained Derry woman, Maureen Etihad. “All the nice views were on the right and so everyone on that side was firing euros in for about an hour. Then suddenly the plane lurched to the side and started going into a tailspin with the extra weight. The pilot eventually righted it and managed a bumpy landing, but Jaysus it was scary biccies!”

Ryanair have famously made tens of millions in recent years by applying levies on everything imaginable, including excess luggage, overweight kids, in-flight vomiting and folk doing really smelly shites. This new initiative takes these charges a step further.

Company spokesman Gerry Lufthansa said “The system is all sorted now and it’s entirely optional for passengers to use. It’s just a bit of fun really. Like having your own arcade machine at your seat.”  However he refused to be drawn on speculation that any Tampax and condom machines in their toilets would be replaced with spare change machines for breaking notes.