Entertainment

BBC sports pundit Mark Sidebottom's bottom is in the same place as everyone else's bottom, an investigative study by top scientists has revealed. "We've been looking into Mr Sidebottom's bottom for several months," says leading biologist Anil Kavity, "and we've...

A local toy manufacturer has launched a kickstarter campaign to raise money to produce a new board game based on the scandals which have engulfed the DUP. Haven't a Cluedo will see players choose characters based on senior DUP figures,...

Cash strapped celebs are turning on Christmas lights for people at home, the Ulster Fry has learned, as lucrative jobs switching on public illuminations dry up. Ruari 'Frostbit Boy' McSorely started the trend last year, switching on home illuminations whilst...

The emergency services were sensationally called to Belfast's Christmas Market today after top celebrity Kim Kardashian got her huge arse wedged on the slide of the helter-skelter. No fewer than four fire appliances and a coastguard helicopter were needed to...

There is widespread panic amongst people with questionable taste in music after pop-star Ed Sheeran was arrested ahead of his Belfast concert, suspected of brutally murdering his entire back catalogue of music. "We used to really like Ed" confirmed arresting...

A Co Antrim businessman has launched an X-rated website aimed squarely at Northern Irish Protestants. Ballymena entrepreneur Bertie Oldman told The Ulster Fry that he believed that he'd spotted a gap in the market. "The World Wide Interwab is full of...

Daytime TV legend Henry Kelly has waded into the Brexit debate by claiming that the UK wouldn't have voted leave if his pan-European quiz show Going For Gold was still on the air. We bumped into the down-at-heel former quiz...

A secret investigation conducted by The Ulster Fry has uncovered evidence that top BBC weather forecaster Barra Best has had robotic surgery in an attempt to, quite literally, gain the upper hand over his rivals. According to a BBC insider, 48-year-old...

Theatre-goers and political pundits are in for a treat today as the long-running Stormont on Ice show returns for an astonishing 378th successive performance. The show sees some of Northern Ireland's greatest play-actors don their ice skates in what has...

Martial Arts star Jackie Chan is the surprising new hero of Unionism after single-handedly taking on the 'Authentic IRA' in Neflix's film The Foreigner. The movie sees 63-year-old Chan star as Quan, a businessman who embarks on a mission of revenge...