Much of East Belfast will be decorated with Spanish flags this marching season after a local loyalist misunderstood an instruction to smuggle back 20,000 fags from a holiday in Majorca. It is understood that 36-year-old Winkie "Winkie" Bunting instead bought...
Craigavon District Magistrate Herbert Dredd has jailed a group of dogs to for "deliberately withholding information from police". Sentencing the dogs, understood to be aged between 3 and 9, Mr Dredd condemned their "flagrant disregard" for law and order. "I'm...
An entrepreneurial East Belfast bonfire builder is relaunching the 11th night celebrations as a luxury loyalist festival, The Ulster Fry has learned. 'Tyre Festival' will be an 'opulent re-imagining of loyalist party culture', according to founder Billy McFireland, who wants to...
The Equality Commission has added "U OK Hun" to its list of sectarian phrases which should be considered unacceptable in the workplace. "It has come to our attention that people routinely use this abusive phrase when messaging friends in times...
Hundreds of thousands of election poles across Northern Ireland are being converted into a network of interconnected street lamps that will allow people to see stuff after the sun goes down, the Ulster Fry has learned. "We've spent millions installing...
With Derry still in shock and mourning following the brutal murder of Lyra McKee, The Ulster Fry have discovered that a gang of organised criminals in the city are grooming kids to carry out vile acts for their own...
Following a spate of ATM robberies across Northern Ireland, one criminal gang has taken things a step further and stolen an entire shopping centre in East Belfast. Connswater Shopping Centre went missing at approximately 1am this morning, with eye-witnesses testifying...
St Patrick's Day is to be moved to the Twelfth of July in an attempt to find some half decent weather that might allow people to leave the house. The plan follows a series of high level talks between the...
Police have confirmed that a Tyrone motorist has been detained after he failed to put his hand up to acknowledge a driver passing in the opposite direction. It is understood that 36-year-old Newton Stuart was recorded committing the offence by...
The new Netflix style TV service planned by the BBC and ITV got off to a shaky start yesterday when it was hijacked in West Belfast soon after its launch. It is understood that masked youths stopped the service on...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...