A new study conducted by an international team of scientists has concluded that the annual Northern Irish ritual of setting fire to things is mainly enjoyed by arseholes. "It's clear that piling up huge pyres of pallets and bedecking them...
Members of a DUP LGBT faction are planning to take part in this weekend's Pride parade, while at the same time protesting at their own involvement. "As proud members of the LGBT community, we're very much looking forward to the...
Black wheelie bin collections in Belfast may be limited to the same days that the flag flies on city hall, the Ulster Fry has learned. The move would see bins collected only 18 times a year, though this will drop...
The PSNI has a new weapon in its armoury this summer - specially designed trailers that will see rioters placed on the naughty step until they promise to behave themselves. Costing almost £100,000 each, the trailers will be placed in...
Businesses and celebrities have come together to support a new charity which hopes to alleviate the plight of Gingers struggling to cope with the hot weather. Speaking at the launch of ''Ginger Aid", celebrity supporter Barra Best told an invited...
A 48 year old County Tyrone farmer has set a new world record for the fastest ever complaint about a spell of good weather. The Ulster Fry has learned that Donemana man Marty Ferguson made the remark to a local shopkeeper...
The Education Authority has announced radical plans to deal with underachievement among working class Protestant boys here, including the addition of Bonfire Construction to the GCSE syllabus. Revealing the move, Chief Examiner Hugh Grade told reporters it would address a...
The whereabouts of dozens of tourists visiting Northern Ireland remains unknown at present, after 'rival gangs' operating in Belfast City Centre were seen forcing sightseers off the streets and into nearby vehicles earlier today. The situation began early this morning near Royal Avenue, after men in brightly-coloured jackets were...
"I was pretty sure he was one of us," was the most common reaction in Ballymena this evening after a man described locally as a "blow in" was observed mowing his front lawn on the Lord's Day. It is understood that 34-year-old...
Following the news that many retired paramilitaries have fully embraced democracy and are using their influence to line their pockets, a new paramilitary organisation has been setup to tackle the criminal activity of old paramilitary organisations. "We've had enough of...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

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