A gathering of religious thinkers has accepted that the existence of Sammy Wilson means that it is 'highly unlikely' there is any kind of supreme creator in heaven. Leaders from all the main world religions attended the meeting, which was...
Following a tweet by former Ulster Unionist Lord Kilclooney calling Irish PM Leo Varadkar a 'Typical Indian' - dissident republicans have mistakenly ordered a hit on Hollywood heart-throb George Clooney, the Ulster Fry has learned. "We were on WhatsApp talkin'...
People across Northern Ireland have reacted with "fear and awe" after a strange yellow object appeared in the sky above the province. The unexplained phenomenon brought thousands of bewildered people staggering out of homes and workplaces, blinking uncontrollably, in scenes...
Russian leader Vladimir Putin has ridiculed claims that he blocked a chemical toilet while staying in a static caravan during a recent UN summit. "This is a western conspiracy aimed at discrediting our government," he told reporters. "In my country...
As Russian diplomats are expelled across Europe in their droves, a UK government source has claimed that they are also to blame for the collapse of power-sharing in Northern Ireland. "Sure Northern Ireland used to have really warm tropical weather"...
Pope Francis has revealed that St Tropez will in future be known as the patron saint of people who smear themselves in chemicals in an attempt to look like they come from California. We bumped into the Pontiff outside the...
Top celebrities including George Clooney, Matt Damon and Susan Sarandon have come together to campaign against the illegal trade in Leprechaun hats and other paraphernalia. Speaking at the launch of People for the Ethical Treatment of Leprechauns (PETL) Mr Clooney condemned...
Following the sad passing of renowned physicist Professor Stephen Hawking, the grim realisation that UTV weather villain Frank Mitchell is now the UK's leading scientist has sent shockwaves through the country. "It was either him or Brian Cox," explained top...
In what has been hailed as a major breakthrough in East/West relations, US President Donald Trump is to fly to Northern Ireland to meet his North Korean counterpart Kim Jong Un. It is understood that diplomats have arranged for the...
There is growing concern that the annual quare stretch in the evenings may be held up by the lack of agreement among Northern Ireland's political parties. After signs last week that a breakthrough may lead to an early announcement of...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...