The rest of the UK has finally caught up with trailblazing Northern Ireland, after Westminster was suspended to allow MPs to lay around on their hole whilst still getting paid. "Northern Ireland has always been light years ahead of us...
In a move that will undoubtedly anger nationalists, Boris Johnson has agreed to DUP demands to abseil down Belfast's City Hall waving union jacks on designated flag days. "I love getting high and where better to do it than right...
Following the news that Secretary of State Karen Bradley has been sacked, Boris Johnson has reassured people in Northern Ireland that her replacement, Julian Smith, will be just as ineffective - with a similar lack of interest and knowledge. "We...
With several leadership contenders admitting that they've taken illegal substances, the Conservative Party has decided to bite the bullet and choose the next Prime Minister on their ability to take copious amounts of drugs. The Ulster Fry understands that Boris...
An new opinion poll has revealed that after the two recent elections most people are sick of the sight of our politicians and would like them to p**s off for a few months so they can watch normal TV...
With milkshake attacks on unpopular high-profile people now commonplace, Northern Ireland's leading dairy producer, Dale Farm, has warned that we face severe milk shortages if the trend spreads to here. "We just don't have enough dairy cows producing milk to...
The more observant among you will have noticed that our councillors have been appearing in local papers more often recently, pointing at potholes and telling everyone what a great job they did getting a toilet opened for an extra...
With the Brexit process facing yet more delays, the UK government are considering allowing Northern Ireland public transport company Translink to oversee the timetable for exiting the EU. "This Brexit thing is taking ages to sort out," confirmed Theresa May....
The on-going political shenanigans at Westminster took an unusual twist today when it emerged that top Tories have invited Arlene Foster and Michelle O'Neill to take over from embattled UK Prime Minister Theresa May. "It's clear that Mrs May has...
March 12th. Woke up this morning feeling really liberal and respectful. I think I'll make a big banner that tells everyone how respectful I am, and demand that they respect it. March 13th. Been singing that Aretha Franklin song all day. R.E.S.P.E.C.T,...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...