Sport

Politicians have called for the immediate removal of the Liverpool football flags which have begun appearing on houses here ahead of the Champions League final. "I've had hundreds of complaints from all over the country," said newly elected Alliance MEP...

As always, the first weekend in May will see Belfast grind to halt as the city plays host to the annual Buckfast Marathon. The much-famed piss up will be held over a three-day period and is regarded by many competitive...

The directors of Manchester United are sensationally set to replace Jose Mourinho with the DUP's Arlene Foster, The Ulster Fry has learned. Following the sacking of 'The Special One', the club's top brass are seeking "a safe pair of hands'...

The people of Donegal are said to be ''pleasantly surprised" this evening after an administrative error led to the county being jointly awarded the 2026 World Cup with the USA and Canada. It is understood that a FIFA director misunderstood...

Boxing fans are licking their remote controls in anticipation today, after two of Northern Ireland's most irritating radio personalities, Stephen “Troller” Nolan and Hugo “Strabane Slammer” Duncan, agreed to bax the jaws aff each other for Children in Need. The...

With both Northern Ireland and the Republic exiting the World Cup at the final hurdle, the IFA and FAI have finally got together and agreed to hold their own "All Ireland" tournament next year. It is understood that the associations...

The world football authorities have admitted that their massively complicated second place play-off formula was specifically designed to ensure that the two teams in Ireland wouldn't meet at any point. "It was OK when Northern Ireland was vaguely shit," says Hans...

You might have noticed that there's a massive match at Windsor Park this evening, with Germany taking on Northern Ireland. It'll be a big test for a squad of relative unknowns drawn from some of Europe's less glamorous teams, as they face some...

The stalemate in Northern Irish politics could sensationally be broken by midnight tonight, after an audacious plan emerged to recruit new MLAs on footballs transfer market. "Arlene and Michelle have been disastrous for us upfront." revealed Stormont spokesman, George Worst....

After years of turning up at star-studded events carrying massive wads of cash, Conor McGregor and Floyd Mayweather are finally set to open current accounts following their half-billion dollar bout, the Ulster Fry has learned. "I'm sick of keeping all my...