A search operation to find someone actually serving customers at a local DIY super-store was abandoned today after all hope of finding anyone doing their job was lost. "I wasn't sure what sorta strimmer line to get for my yoke"...
Sky has fought off stiff competition from rival companies to buy the global TV rights to The Twelfth for the next five marching seasons, The Ulster Fry understands. The broadcaster paid £1.4 billion to win four of the seven packages on...
Car parks in Belfast City Centre are now so expensive motorists have been forced to take extreme measures as they seek alternative accommodation for their vehicles, an investigation by The Ulster Fry has revealed. One commuter we spoke to found...
The owner of a Chinese takeaway off the Newtownards Road has unveiled an audacious marketing plan which will see all customers charged £16.90 for their meals. "For some strange reason all my customers shout 'yeoooooo!' when their order comes to...
Following news that the proposed merger between Asda & Sainsbury's was in jeopardy, The Ulster Fry has learned the NI Parades Commission were the main objectors. "Whilst amalgamating the green and orange logos of these two leading supermarkets will not...
Following the announcement that 3,500 jobs at Honda Swindon are to be lost, leave campaigner Boris Johnson has reminded Britons that they used to happily ride around the UK on horseback - and can do so again. "We Brits have...
Continued delays over planning have sensationally forced the owners of the proposed George Best Hotel in Belfast City Centre to rename the flagship accommodation after local weatherman Barra Best. The developers have been quick to put a gloss on the...
A new takeaway opened by two Turkish businessmen has been forced to close after being inundated with creeps and perverts. "Plenty Of Fish" in West Belfast, which offers a huge selection of battered seafood dishes, told us they were 'horrified'...
A County Antrim petrol station owner is said to be "delighted with himself" after erecting the most ridiculously over-sized milk advert ever seen on the planet. 54-year-old Uel Tanker told The Ulster Fry that the ploy would put his station...
Invest NI have announced a huge cash boost to help local smugglers get ready for a post-Brexit criminal activity boom. "Smugglers are likely to be one of the big winners out of Brexit, so it's important that we give them...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...