Business articles


Celebrations everywhere as Belfast man completes trolley-free Christmas shop

Celebrations everywhere as Belfast man completes trolley-free Christmas shop

Northern Ireland chalked up another historic first today after local man, Vince Pie, successfully did his entire Christmas shop in Tesco, Newtonbreda without a trolley or basket. “Thon things are for weemin!” he scowled when we approached him for an exclusive interview. “Ye don’t see Bear Grylls taking a basket into the woods when he’s hungry


Price of Um Bongo sky-rockets as Brexit bites

The popular juice based drink Um Bongo is to double in price as supermarkets grapple with exchange rate fluctuations in the wake of the Brexit vote. “It’s an impossible situation,” says top economist Connery Wharf, “the pound is now so weak against the Congolese franc it’s inevitable that the cost of importing the refreshing children’s drink


Fake news more accurate than the real stuff, say experts

As the kerfuffle about the influence of so-called ‘Fake News’ on the US Presidential election continues to grow, experts have uncovered evidence that the made up stuff is often more accurate than the so-called real thing. The report follows the publication of a list of fake news websites by a North American academic, which lumped


Belfast airline Beezer Jet launches flights to New York

In the light of the news that United Airlines is to cancel its service from Belfast International to New York, local independent carrier Beezer Jet has been quick off the mark to step into the breach. The airline, established earlier this year by businessman Hans Luggage, is one of Northern Ireland’s biggest success stories, now flying passengers


Third bus stop at Belfast International Airport approved

Northern Ireland’s transport links moved proudly into the 1960s today with the approval of plans for a third bus-stop at the world famous Belfast International Airport. Tourists from across the globe regularly jet into the International Airport from far-flung destinations such as Manchester and Glasgow, but often spend their stay here staring at the County Antrim countryside,


Jim Megaw bounces back to front The Apprentice

After his blistering return to our TV screens last week on a new ad for We Are Vertigo, it has emerged that legendary businessman Jim Megaw is in line to replace Lord Sir Alan Sugar on The Apprentice. During the 1980s Jim made the supermarkets Crazy Prices and Stewart’s the go-to destinations for all local


Facebook’s new narcissistic newsfeed “all about you”, says Zuckerberg

Millions of people took selfies of themselves looking ‘delighted’ today after Facebook announced that their newsfeed system would be changing to show more stories about everyone’s new favourite topic – themselves. “Our users have complained that our current newsfeed shows too much stuff that they’re not interested in” said Mark Zuckerberg today at the launch “such as posts from other people, photos they’re not in and things they


Concentrix wins lucrative North Korean Complaints Department contract

Following months of denying families their working and family tax credits through ruthless handling of a government contract, US firm Concentrix have been hired by rogue nation, North Korea, to handle complaint calls from it’s millions of disgruntled citizens. “Kim Jong Un is really impressed with our Never Say Aye attitude”  revealed Concentrix spokesman, Nadda Chance. “We may have lost the HRMC