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motherdays

People forced to visit their mum following Facebook login issue

People forced to visit their mum following Facebook login issue

Chaos unfolded across the globe today after a Facebook glitch left millions of users unable to login, forcing them to actually visit the person who once gave birth to them. “I couldn’t get signed in to my app all day!” moaned Ted Melter from Bangor. “So I had to actually visit my Ma and tell her I loved her. Like in person, to her actual face… instead of telling hundreds of

Stormont

Politicians prepare to get back to doing nothing

After spending several days discussing the rights and wrongs of the life of Martin McGuinness, local politicians have agreed to end their ceasefire and return to the important business of failing to reach an agreement on the way forward at Stormont. “It is important that we preserve Martin’s legacy,” said Sinn Fein leader Gerry Adams at a

monstermunch2

Lisburn City Council votes to ban Monster Munch in schools

Councillors in Lisburn and Castlereagh have sensationally voted to support a ban on the sale of the popular corn based snack Monster Munch in schools across the district. Downshire East DUP representative Carson Robinson had proposed the controversial motion, arguing that the crisps are “symbolic of either evolution or Satanism, probably both.” “The name of

Martina

Martina Anderson ‘not wrote aff’ say Sinn Fein

Senior members of Sinn Fein have hit out at rumours that Martina Anderson was completely blocked as she delivered a rant to an empty European Parliament. Ms Anderson appeared to have been celebrating St Patrick’s Day a bit early as she launched into a bizarre tirade against Theresa May, who was not actually in the

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