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“Party at our place,” Northern Ireland tells everyone in UK

“Party at our place,” Northern Ireland tells everyone in UK

Northern Ireland is being described as “an even bigger bombsite than usual” after inadvertently inviting the rest of the home nations to a massive house party. The crisis follows the release of a report showing that people here spend the highest amount per head on alcoholic beverages, prompting Northern Ireland to post “Yeooooooo lads, party

tinfoilmain

Craigavon man who went for tinfoil added to Queen’s New Year honours list

A dad who left home today in a desperate Christmas Day search for turkey foil has been added to the Queen’s New Year honours list. 46 year old Willy Jumper, a half-civil servant from Craigavon, was alerted to the alarming shortage of bacofoil at his home around 10.30am this morning, sparking an heroic two hour ordeal which took him to four neighbour’s houses, five corner shops and

messy-room

Local woman “might not get redd up for Christmas”

There are growing concerns in religious circles that Antrim housewife Pauline Slooter may be unable to effectively tidy her house before Christmas, leading to fears that the festival may have to be cancelled altogether. The Ulster Fry understands that Mrs Slooter inadvertently failed to fully “redd out her good room” before putting up her decorations,

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