“F**k your Honda jobs, I’ve a horse outside”, declares Boris Johnson


Following the announcement that 3,500 jobs at Honda Swindon are to be lost, leave campaigner Boris Johnson has reminded Britons that they used to happily ride around the UK on horseback – and can do so again.

“We Brits have a proud history of travelling to places atop a trusty steed” exclaimed a defiant Johnson earlier. “In fact all of the trade between the great English kingdoms of Northumbria and Wessex relied solely on horses!”

“However sadly we lost our way somewhere along the way. We let the Gerrys and the Japs come to our shores with their cost-effective, well engineered ‘automobile’ contraptions and their pesky, well paid manufacturing jobs. But thankfully,with a few more announcements like this, we can get back to how things used to be!”

“In the 9th century” he added.

The news has also been welcomed by fellow Brexiteer MP, Jacob Rees-Mogg, but he told us he did have some concerns about the job losses.

“It’s just as well our party has worked hard to decimate the welfare system before Brexit” he explained. “Because very soon we’ll have another 3,500 dole scrounging bastards sponging off us.”

We sent a message to Downing Street seeking an official comment but so far our carrier pigeon hasn’t come back yet.