“Build your own” Eamonn Holmes model to hit stores on Monday

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Fans of TV couch potatoes are in for a treat next week as publisher DeArseostini launch the latest of their collectible model building magazines – build your own life size Eamonn Holmes.

“Our company is famous for its subscription collector publications,” said chief designer Alfonso Pizzeria. “Every year we somehow persuade gullible people to spend thousands of pounds collecting the parts to construct random things. You wouldn’t believe how many people are willing to take two years gathering the parts needed for things like the Millennium Falcon or the Flying Scotsman, at a tenner a week.”

“This year we’ve decided to branch out and launch a new range of regional television celebrity kits. If our “Home Holmes” does well, we’ll follow up with the big hitters – Jackie Fullerton, Barra Best, maybe Hugo Duncan.”

As well as the parts for the model, the avid Holmes fan will receive a limited edition magazine packed full of fascinating facts about the star. Learn about his love of cauliflowers, find out where he eats his lunch, and get your hands on his mobile phone number.

However DeArseostini have a word of warning for anyone who may hold ‘romantic feelings’ towards the star. “He’ll be completely smooth in his gentleman’s area, a bit like an Action Man doll,” explains Alfonso. “We were going to include Eamonn’s meat and two veg but, to be honest, we couldn’t fit them on the front cover.

 

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