Chaos unfolded across the globe today after a Facebook glitch left millions of users unable to login, forcing them to actually visit the person who once gave birth to them.
“I couldn’t get signed in to my app all day!” moaned Ted Melter from Bangor. “So I had to actually visit my Ma and tell her I loved her. Like in person, to her actual face… instead of telling hundreds of random acquaintances, ex work colleagues and people went to school with. I was pure mortified!”
The technical problems have also left mothers feeling both paranoid and pure annoyed.
“Usually I’d get nice messages on my wall from the wains, telling everyone how much they love me and how great I am” explained May Concern from Lisburn. “but today I never even got one! They all landed to the house instead… ate all the nice biscuits, let the wains run mad and leave handprints all over my good windows! The wee shites!”
Facebook boss Mark Zuckerberg has since apologised.
“Sorry it took our engineers so long to get this issue fixed today!” he said in his message. “But the bug caused a whole handling for us here too! We went to at least five different petrol stations trying to find presents in a whole panic.”
“I really hope my mum likes chunky Kit Kats” he added.