Ulster Fry to end ceasefire

Following the news that MLA’s at Stormont have finally decided to get their finger out of their holes and do a bit of work, Northern Ireland’s fragile peace process was dealt a further blow today, after The Ulster Fry announced that they are ending their so-called ‘ceasefryer’, with immediate effect.

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Following the news that MLA’s at Stormont have finally decided to get their finger out of their holes and do a bit of work, Northern Ireland’s fragile peace process was dealt a further blow today, after The Ulster Fry announced that they are ending their so-called ‘ceasefryer’, with immediate effect.

The notorious cross-community comedy group, who spent years terrorising local politicians and planting truth bombs in unsuspecting news-feeds, are now set to resume their campaign of hostilities against hypocrisy, incompetent politicians, hipsters and Larne.

“We cannot stand idly by whilst these eejits make a ballix out of everything, again” explained spokesman, Seamus O’Shea. “The Ulster Fry has been silent long enough. We believe all politicians in this country, whether orange or green, need to live in constant fear of a good boot up the hole”

“Also” he continued. “We’ve run out of shite to watch on Netflix… and we’ve spent all the Harp money”

A security forces insider has confirmed that several laptops were dug up in an undisclosed field in Fermanagh over the weekend, as Northern Ireland braces itself for another spate of tit-for-tat nonsense.

It’s understood several new comrades have been recruited includeing Dundonald Liberation Army and other dissident content creators – and that several deadly memes and killer headlines have already been constructed ahead of a new campaign.

A spokesman for Stormont said “At least we’ll have something to read now whilst we’re pretending to be working”