With mass attendances dwindling, the Vatican launched a bold move to win over millennials today, releasing a new ‘Ash Wednesday’ filter on Instagram.
“Young ones don’t like getting off their ass never mind going to mass!” laughed the Vatican’s Chief Technical Officer, Cardinal Number. “This new Insta filter, which has been blessed by the Pope, allows people to receive the sacred blessing just by taking a selfie!”
The filter has been used over 23 million globally, including in Northern Ireland, by catholics and protestants alike.
“It would clean founder ye so there was no chance I was queuing up for ashes,” explained Belfast woman, Pam Sunday. “I just took a wee selfie instead and posted it online.”
“Me mammy didn’t know even know the difference” she laughed.
“I’ve always wondered what I’d look like as a catholic,” admitted her Church of Ireland neighbour, Eva-Ann Gellical. “I sent it into our WhatsApp group for a laugh and then everyone started doing them.”
“It felt like role play. I was quite turned on!” she confessed.
The Vatican are also working on other technology partnerships, as they work to appeal to the youth demographic.
“We’re developing a Holy Communion Delivery option on JustEat,” continued Cardinal Number. “And the beta testing of offering strangers a ‘Sign of peace’ on ChatRoulette has been a great success!”
“It’s exciting times for lazy catholics everywhere!”