The world of male grooming was turned on it’s head today, as one Belfast barber shop unveiled an audacious plan to simply cut men’s hair without trying to pretend they are prize fighters, 1920’s dockers, lumberjacks or vikings.
Nick’s Barbers on Queen Street shocked business experts by insisting that they won’t be selling craft beer at the premises, nor providing a range of arty magazines on woodwork, classic bicycle maintenance, artisan coffee grinding or obscure martial arts.
“We’ve got the Mirror, The Daily Star, yesterday’s Belfast Telegraph and a copy of The Sunday Sport that someone else brought and left behind… swear!” revealed Nick McComb, the mastermind behind the initiative.
“Our concept is that you come in, read a paper, and when it’s your turn, we ask you if you are heading anywhere on your holidays, what you do yourself and if ye head out the town much. We’ll also drop in some smalltalk about sport, ask ye what team you support etc.”
“Then at the end, we show you the back of your head in the mirror, take a few quid off ye and shout, ‘Who’s next there?’”
“It’s a really different approach but customers seem to like it” he added. Some sceptics remain to be convinced though.
“I rode my penny farthing down there the other day to buy some beard oil but I was aghast to discover they didn’t sell any!” revealed local man, Thor Dohertysson.
“I thought I’ve give them a go anyway, but I was disappointed to learn that they haven’t bothered to paper the walls in fake brickwork pattern, hang any skateboards, samurai swords or knuckledusters on the ceiling, or provide a Nespresso machine for customers. I got up and walked out!”
“Turns out all they do is cut your hair” he moaned. “Which is a shame, cos all I wanted was a hair cut”