Awkward taxi home as driver reveals zero interest in football


A group of local men who went to the pub to watch the Champions League final are set for an extremely awkward taxi journey home it has emerged, after a deranged taxi driver revealed he has ‘zero interest’ in football.

“I actually can’t be arsed with sport whatsoever” admitted 37 year old lunatic, Val Ewcab. “It doesn’t interest me at all. Give me a good book or a fishing weekend any day” he continued, shortly before we lost interest and spent the rest of the twenty minute interview in silence.

The news has sent shockwaves through local football fans, who are horrified at the prospect of getting stuck in a moving vehicle with someone with no interest in the beautiful game.

“I got stuck with one of those maniacs in 2005,,” revealed horrified Liverpool fan Joe Salah. “I was dying to slabber about the comeback and he just wanted to talk about politics. I just sat in silence the whole way, praying he wasn’t gonna murder me”

“I couldn’t go through that ordeal again” he sobbed.

However heartbroken Spurs fans were ironically praying they would get the psychotic taximan, as they definitely didn’t want to talk about it.

Taxi drivers and barbers are obliged to talk about football under the European Small Talk Directive Regulations (1987), just as hairdressers are required to ask ‘if you’ve been anywhere nice’.

The taxi man has since been suspended.