Couple to stare at takeaway menu for ages before ordering same shite as usual 


With the latest weather forecast indicating it would ‘founder ye’, the Ulster Fry has learned that one local couple intend to spend their Saturday evening agonising over a takeaway menu for ages – before ordering the same shite they always get.

The couple who claim they ‘fancy a wee change tonight’, plan on sifting through the huge pile of take-away menus in the hall telephone table to find one that is still in business – before indecisively passing it back and forth between themselves for the entire duration of ITV dating show, Take Me Out.

“Thon honey chilli chicken dish looks nice” they mused “but we’ll be raging with ourselves if it’s rotten. What about the black bean sauce?  Oh aye that gives you heart burn. Wonder what that Kung-Po Chicken is like? always wanted to try that… but then again, I might not like it”

“Feck it, will we just get the usual!” they declared, before ordering the same thing they got last week, and the week before, off the top of their head, without actually needing to see it written down.

We phoned the takeaway in question for comment but they didn’t really understand a word we said – so they sent their spokesman to the wrong address with no prawn crackers instead.

Whilst initially quite cold with us, he turned out to be much nicer the next day.