Local man with convertible car “being a right pain in the hole” says everyone


A local man who possesses a convertible sports car is being “a complete dick” according to everyone who knows him.

The unnamed man has apparently been waiting for months for good weather so he can finally take the roof down on his 1992 Mazda MX5, and is now cruising around town with his shirt off “acting like he’s Magnum f**king P.I.”

“Aye, he’s been moaning about the weather for weeks,” admits his wife, “saying things like ‘I wish the sun would come out so I can let the roof down on this baby’ as he squeezes into that rust bucket in the morning.”

“I mean ‘this baby’?? Did you ever hear the like of it? It’s less Ferrari Testarossa and more MOT TestaFailure.”

The man is currently parked outside a petrol station near you, having “just nipped out for a poke” according to his wife. “What he forgets is the amount of bird shit that is usually deposited on car roofs round here. That’s all going to be landing on his seats, the ganch.”

Meanwhile the rest of us are studiously trying to avoid looking jealously in his direction, whilst wishing we’d got round to getting the front windows fixed so we could actually let in a blast of fresh air.