Men given three week extension to keep DIY promises


Men who promised to undertake impressive sounding home improvement jobs during lockdown to avoid housework have been given extra time to get off their holes and actually make a start, the Ulster Fry understands.

“I taul herself I’d landscape the garden after she suggested I might think about cleaning the bathroom,” explained Leslie Hallion from Newtownards. “Then I read something saying the best way to get through the lockdown was to set yourself one small task a day, rather than use them all up in one go.”

“So for the first few days I took a variety of tools out of the shed and leaned them against the wall, then I sat looking at them and had a few of gardening beers til it got dark.”

“With this extra time I might actually use them, maybe dig a hole to bury the empty beer cans in.”

Omagh father-of-three Joe Crastinate told us that his wife had given him an ultimatum, he could home school the kids or paint the outside of the house.

“An easy choice that,” he says, “and I’ve got away with it so far. I’ve just taul her the weather’s not right for painting – it’s been too wet, or sunny, or too in-between, but I think she’s read the back of the paint tin and I can’t get away with it much longer.”

“Tomorrow I’ll make a start, maybe do a window sill or two. Then it’ll be the weekend and I can put my feet up.”