As we revealed yesterday, Northern Irish men are the most romantic in the world, so women across the country are now looking for ideas on how to drive their men mad in the bedroom.
Juanita Twix from Belfast lifestyle magazine Women’s Problems reveals her top tips to press all his buttons between the sheets.
1. Tell him you’ve left the immersion heater on.
“Men love a bit of hot stuff in the wee small hours,” says Juanita, “so why not wait til 2am and tell him you think you left the immersion running. He’ll be up and ready for action in seconds.”
2. Bring the dog to bed.
“According to a recent survey for our magazine 74% of men fantasise about having a threesome, so bringing the dog to bed should fulfil his wildest desires. Probably.”
3. Remind him to put the bins out.
“Give him a nudge at 4am on a Thursday morning,” says Juanita, “and whisper in his ear ‘I want you to take me, right now, I want you to take me bins out.'”
4. Phone your mother.
“Telephone sex is a real turn on,” Juanita explains, “so ring his bell at midnight with a 40 minute chat with your mother about who’s dead.”
5. Eat Toast
“This is best done in the morning, when he’s not around. Then when he slips between the sheets in the evening he’ll know he’s guaranteed a night of rough action. Be sure to nibble it on his side of the bed though, or what’s left of his side….”
6. Take up the whole bed
“Why not experiment with a few different positions?” Juanita asks. “Try lying across the middle of the bed with pillows and cushions arranged all round your body. If you get your moves just right, you’ll really push him over the edge.”
7. Suggest some DIY tasks.
“An opportunity for more naughty talk. ‘Are you up for doing some dirty stuff big boy? Yeah? Great, cos the kids have blocked the ensuite toilet with baby wipes.’ He’ll have his plunger out in no time.”
Do you have any top tips for arousing your man’s passions?
If you do, please keep them to yourself, we’re not that kind of website.