Cats promise to make themselves useful for once


Cats across Northern Ireland have promised to put aside their differences and do some vaguely useful work during the Coronavirus lockdown.

With dog movement limited to walks with their owners, cats are now the only members of most households with unrestricted free movement.

“It’s time we stepped up to the plate and did our bit,” explains Mr Fluffypaws, the spokescat for the National Union of Felines. “We’re still able to get out and about, so will be able to pick up essential items for our owners.”

“There’s about 6 houses in our street that I’m calling to, for example. Usually I just pop round for something to eat and to rub against their furniture, but from now on I’ll bring them a bat or something and leave it at the back door.”

At this point we let Mr Fluffypaws out to get us some bread but he was back on the windowsill two minutes later, empty pawed.

“I’ll get it later,” he told us, before wanting out again, then coming back in.