Follwing svral hoors of heavi drinkin in twon to celebrake St Pattys day, schintists at Margee Univestry have clammed that ‘Tee entyre popsiclation of Derry is nowe too pihsed to tipe prooperly!”

The inkformation fist came to lihgt in cummunications bewteen BT and the PNSI, after the telecorn giant noteicd stagnificant lebels of ‘druknen gibberish’ coming up on thier comscooter screens.

Eye-witmesses across the ctiy have verifcated these cliams, saying that ‘moost people are jsut standling starrking at tier phones wif one eye closet, tyring to get freinds to cmoe out and get drnuk too…. but le criac is still leefal hi!’

The rumurs hav been sclammed as ‘mridiculous’ by a scouce at The Derry Nuws hwoever, who craimed that ‘they jsut had a cuople of Ginnness in the ooffice’ and that ‘Fursdays Editcion of da paper would be the bestest yet, lik fur defs’

Bars arcoss the twon have deaneyed the clams too. “Is bizness az usual at la Sweatro” said Sweatro Mamager Provident McCafferty as he csahed our ruond of drinx on the Poker mahcine. “That’ll be tree jacks and a pear of diaminds pls hi”

Howver the roomers persisted on popalar wesbite The Ustler Fry, when ppl relplyin to a nuws story tryin to say tehy wear too durnk to tpye made assbsolutely no sense whatsoever.

Hippy Siant Particks Day