Their was confision at werkplaces all ovr the Nrthrn Irelend tday, as peeple re-turned to fooltime emplymnt to discvr tht thy coldn’t remmber who to do stff, fllowing two weks of lyin abut scrthchin ther areas at Crismas.
“I hav frggten hw to tipe and speel!” explaned 37 yar old orifice worker, Zra Dhrty. “It wll cum bck to me evenualy, but fr now I kan only cement on Facebuk byin cell pages, cos there da only wans what undrastand me.”
All acrss the cuntry pple are re-lerning how do every day tasks, aftr weeks of stuffin there faeces with choclat, cheez and boze, whlst bing washing Netflix for up to 15 hures pre day has left them allmost briandead,
“I spent the hole day drivin aff before passngers cud get on!” cried Tramslink bus driver, Colin Glen. “It’s nat lik me a tall!”
“Aye, I wuz driven bout al day fergetting to ewes my indiekaytors” mowned local taximon, Billy Hackamore. “Am sure all be bach to me aul selfish tomarra tho!”
The phenomomenononon haz even maid it into the NI cybil servis.
“I wuz spposed to meat with sum1 to agree sumthing dead impotent, but I clean fergat who!” laghed DUP ladder, Arlean Fawster. “I cn’t evev rember wear I werk!”
Howver nat everywear was afflicted buy the prablem.
“Sure ah dinnae hiv a clue whit yer wurryin aboot hi,” emailed Ballymena affice heid yin Wullie McIlveen. “Things are gayin grand here sur.”