A new campaign launched today will tell potential visitors that it really isn’t entirely shit here, with the slogan “It’s not as bad as you’d think”.
“There’s been a few different slogans over the last few years,” said campaign chief, Florence Court. “Like ‘Made for Golf,’ ‘Our Time, Our Place’ and even ‘For the Fast and the Curious’, but really none of these fully encapsulate the visitor experience.”
The new campaign will show that it’s relatively easy to avoid all the shit things around the country. “For example, we have a map that shows you how to get out of Larne quickly, and one that helps you bypass Craigavon completely,” explained Ms Court.
“Sadly it’s quite difficult to avoid Dungiven if you’re travelling between Belfast and Derry, but our information leaflet explains that on a good day you’ll only be forced to spend 15 minutes stuck in the place.”
The officials want to highlight the exciting things visitors here can get up to during their stay. “Not all the pubs close at 11, and if you’re somewhere they do just get a carry out and drink it in your hotel room. That way you can pretend you’re at a wedding.”
There will also be tips on the best places to stay including advice on B&Bs, hotels and, of course, camp-sites. “Some caravan parks are quite nice, choose carefully and you won’t be next to an ex-paramilitary with a 20 a day Buckfast habit,” says Court.
A TV commercial backing the campaign is nearing completion, combining images of the traditional summer riots with idyllic scenes of sheep looking over fences. Sadly Liam Neeson was unavailable for the voiceover, but fortunately the makers did manage to catch Jimmy Nesbitt on the evening of the Carl Frampton fight.
The new commercial – ‘Norn Iron isht nat ash bad as ye’d shink, so it’s nat’ – will be shown across the UK from May.