PSNI exam cheats: those hard questions revealed

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The people of Northern Ireland were left stunned yesterday when they learned that more than 50 trainee officers had been found cheating in their police exams. That got us thinking about how hard this test must be, so we sent our best undercover reporter to the training college.

After he successfully scraped through a rigorous 50/50 recruiting policy by pretending to be one of themuns, he managed to nick some of the questions which we have reproduced for you here.

Answers are at the bottom of the page.

Questions

  1. There are 4 of you in the Landrover and the sergeant sends you into Costa for some donuts. How many do you buy?
  2. A crime is reported at 18.03. You are 10 minutes away by car, but you’re on a bike. When do you arrive to investigate?
  3. You’re called to give evidence at a policing board meeting. What key points do you need to cover?
  4. You are in a dance competition against PSNI Craigavon. Why?
  5. You are travelling at a speed of 20mph and Gerry Kelly leaps out of nowhere onto your bonnet. What do you do?
  6. If the average police officer earns 30k a year, and the PSNI say it costs 24k per day to police the Twaddell Camp, how many officers are at Twaddell every day?
  7. Robert, Trevor and Sean are in the back of the Landrover. Robert gets out and Declan gets in. Factoring in that he is left handed and that water cannons require two people to operate, how many cups of coffee should the driver ask the girl at McDonalds drive-thru window for?
  8. There is a bit of trouble at the play park. One of the kids has cut his knee, how should you comfort him?

Answers

  1. Eight, one each for now, one for afters.
  2. Wednesday.
  3. Your back and your arse.
  4. Because dance is the best way to get down with the kids, just ask Brucie.
  5. Ask him for a promotion.
  6. Who cares? Think of the overtime!
  7. Five. You forgot about Big Dave in the passenger seat.
  8. Show him your pepper spray.

How did you score?

1-3 Civvy street

4-6 Well done, riot squad for you

7-8 Did you cheat? Don’t worry we’ll give you another crack and you can try to do worse next time.

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