Gerry Adams recipes “not tasteless”, insist Sinn Fein

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Sinn Fein have dismissed suggestions that Gerry Adams promoting a cookbook supposedly inspired by the Good Friday Agreement will be hard to swallow for anyone who lived through the violence that preceded it.

“Ach your arse is parsley! We’ve been shoving Gerry’s recipes down people’s throats for years,”¬†explained Sinn Fein spokesman, Fiach O’Veighoff.

“And any notion that these dishes, available for ¬£8.99 from the Sinn Fein book store, are tasteless is absolutely ludicrous,” he continued. “We’ve been inundated with messages all day from people telling us they’ve left a really bitter taste in their mouths.”

We picked a recipe at random from the book today to give our readers a flavour of what to expect.

Tiochfad Ar Lamb:

  • Hang everyone out to dry.
  • Stir up tensions for unspecified period of time.
  • When everything comes to the boil threaten to take the lid off.
  • Serve with a dash of self-righteousness.
  • Rewrite the history of the recipe and take all credit for it.
  • Deny ever being a chef.

The cookbook reveals some of “the best kept secrets of the peace process” according to Mr Adams. However the former Sinn Fein president denied rumours that he plans to release the best kept secrets of the actual troubles in a follow-up publication.

“I’m not releasing my crookbook,” he insisted.

A DUP spokesman slammed the publication for being ‘insulting to voters’, before taking the opportunity to plug Ian Paisley’s new travel memoirs, out next week, priced just 22,323,070 Sri Lankan Rupees.

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