Game of Phones – Local men implicated in leaked episodes scandal

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Following news that four new episodes of Game of Thrones were leaked online, allegations have now emerged that the Northern Irish extras used on the show are at the centre of the piracy scandal. It is believed HBO’s investigators made the discovery late last night, after illegally downloading the illegal episodes from BitTorrent to search for clues.

“After studying the footage for several hours we realised that whilst the plotlines roughly matched the scripts, that something was not quite right!” said HBO producer Ted Shark “The footage was really wobbly and grainy to start with, the camera angles were all off and, oh aye, the special effects were pure dung!”

“Also, we noticed several scenes had big fat fingers in front of the lens” he added. “Then the penny dropped!”

HBO now believe that all four leaked episodes were entirely edited together using dodgy smartphone footage taken secretly by Thrones Extras on sets around the Province during filming. “It’s a long day on set! Some of us pass the time making sneaky wee videos to show-off to our mates.” admitted one extra, who wished to remain anonymous.

“But to think they’ve made entire episodes out of the footage is clean mental” continued 28 year old Jamie Scruff, from Lurgan. “Sure if people wanted to watch a piss-poor copy of Game of Thrones they would go to Netflix! They have loads of them!”

Speculation that Kit Harington’s recent slagging of Belfast was to blame for the ‘leaks’ remains unconfirmed, however reports from early downloaders that Jon Snow now spoke with a ‘whiney Belfast accent’ and was fighting battles with a crudely animated pink dildo have only fuelled that rumour.

The PSNI jumped straight into action and have drawn up a list of suspects they believe may be responsible. Detectives are now keen to speak to any males from Northern Ireland who have a beard and own a phone.

*** SPOILER ALERT ***

In an Ulster Fry exclusive, PSNI Chief Constable George R.R Hamilton told us “We’ve watched the episodes in question, and can confirm that the script is much the same as before – bare arses, death, dragons, diddies, death, swords, more arses, bigger diddies, hookers and something about a big massive wall.”

“I’m surprised they don’t film it in West Belfast to be honest”

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