Katie Hopkins unmasked as UK’s biggest smuggler of utter sh**e


The world of journalism has been turned on its head amid claims that controversial Sun columnist Katie Hopkins has been secretly smuggling shite into the nation’s media for years.

The allegations came to light after Ms Hopkins plumbed new depths of ‘journalism’ with a column dealing with the problem of people smuggling in the Mediterranean. In the piece, she described African migrants as ‘cockroaches’, and suggested that the most appropriate solution was to use gunboats to deal with the ‘plague of human vermin’.

“It’s a bit rich coming from her,” said a newspaper industry expert, “since she’s been smuggling immense quantities of shite in her cavernous mouth since she first appeared on The Apprentice in 2006.”

“To make matters worse, she behaves a bit like a human cockroach herself,” he continued, “feeding off scraps and spreading an offensive odour wherever she writes. You can bet, in the event of a nuclear holocaust, Katie Hopkins would be one of the last people surviving, tweeting about how it was all Scotland’s fault from a secret bunker in Kent.”

However her article has been welcomed in some circles. In a statement released through a medium, retired Nazi dictator Adolf Hitler was glowing in his praise. “It is good to know that, 70 years after the Allies defeated my forces in Europe, and 80 since my party described the Poles as cockroaches and the Jews as rats, there is still room for this standard of journalism.”

“I’m very much looking forward to meeting her.”