The Russian government been secretly meddling in councils across Northern Ireland, according to top secret government files we found on the internet.
The documents reveal that Vladimir Putin has placed agents at every level of our local government and pumped millions of Rubles into influencing the decisions of our councillors.
The allegations include claims that Russian spies….
- changed Belfast’s bin collections from weekly to fortnightly,
- introduced charging at several public toilets in Ards and North Down,
- flooded the Lurgan area with cheap Buckfast in an attempt to influence voters in the 2019 election and…
- increased car parking fees in Omagh from 30 to 40 pence per hour.
Diplomats from the Russian embassy in Strabane have been quick to deny the accusations.
“We have much more serious things to worry about than the opening hours of Banbridge leisure centre, or where the dog shit bins are located in Hillsborough Park,” claimed the ambassador.
In unrelated news, Newry, Mourne and Down Council has voted to approve funding for an immediate invasion of the Ukraine and Vladimir Putin has been declared Mayor for life in Antrim and Newtownabbey.