Holylands students won’t cancel St Paddy’s Day sesh – will drink hand santizer instead

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Students in Belfast’s Holylands area have ruled out cancelling their annual St Patrick’s day piss up, but organisers have assured the public that they will take precautions to avoid the spread of the Corona Virus.

19-year-old Medical student Phelim Locked told The Ulster Fry that it was important that that revellers got plastered responsibly.

“Clearly, we don’t want the event to be a public safety hazard,” he explained. “We’ve been gathering up hand sanitizer for weeks now, that’s why you can’t get any in the shops. That stuff’s deadly, it’s like 60% proof.”

“The wee bottles are perfect for shots, and see the big ones? Ye can just pump the gear intae ye! That way, yer killing germs and getting langered – it’s a win/win for everyone.”

The organisers have put in place several other precautionary measures.

“We reckon we’ve about 20 miles of bog roll gathered up, that’s for laying on the road during ‘Rock the boat’, and we’ve nicked a loada wheelie bins for folk to boke into responsibly.”

Any students showing symptoms of the virus are being instructed to self-isolate and get hammered in their own rooms.

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