With the DUP holding the balance of power in Westminster, Arlene Foster is expected to extract a high price for backing Theresa May. The Ulster Fry has gained EXCLUSIVE* access to a leaked letter from the DUP leader, which reveals all the party’s key demands… Dear Theresa, Many thanks for your kind invite to be part…
‘Sectarian head-counting’ to be added to NI schools curriculum
As Northern Ireland Primary Schools prepare to close for yet another election, The Education Authority has confirmed that it intends to rejig the curriculum to reflect the complex nature of democracy here. “This is the 457th election we’ve had in the last 10 years,” explains education expert, Grover Head-Projector. “We can’t keep losing school days…
Pope Francis and President Trump review Norn Iron’s top tourist attractions
The Pope and President Trump hit it off so well during their meeting last week that they decided to go on holidays together – right here in Northern Ireland! The powerful pair also agreed to review some of our best known visitor destinations, exclusively for The Ulster Fry. We think it’s fair to say that their faces…
Nine surprising cameos in the Paisley & McGuinness movie
Following the release of the official trailer for The Journey, which tells of the unlikely friendship between Ian Paisley and Martin McGuinness, The Ulster Fry has had an exclusive sneak-peak at the film, in which several famous Hollywood movie stars have made secret cameo appearances. We look at some of the best… Owen Wilson & Vince Vaughn as…
World of social media reacts predictably to death of Martin McGuinness
As the news of the passing of Martin McGuinness broke on mainstream media, Northern Ireland’s assortment of keyboard commentators took to their smart phones to add their usual considered opinions. Facebook user ‘Ballybeen Bear’, who served 8 years for arms offences in the 1980s, was quick to highlight the former Deputy First Minister’s IRA past.…
10 reasons why getting to bed drunk is a whole handlin’
Everyone loves a good night out on the rip, except Jim Allister obviously, but while we’re out spilling pints over ourselves we all forget that it has to end at some point and sleep will be required. Sadly, knocking back all those drinks has made us forget that we’ve turned a routine ritual into a complex…
11 words that mean something different in Norn Iron
It’s a well known fact that Northern Irish people have the sexiest accent in the world – you only have to look at the likes of Liam Neeson, Gloria Hunniford and Frostbit Boy. We always have the right word for every situaitchun, even if they mean something different to the rest of the world…. Air:…
The Ulster Fry guide to blocking melters on Facebook
Whilst Facebook is great for finding out what people are up to without actually talking to them, it’s a minefield of ejjits saying stuff you probably couldn’t give two shites about! Here’s a wee Ulster Fry’s guide on how to handle some stereotypical Facebook melters. (We’re sure you can suggest a few more below!) Mantra-preneurs Having once…
Liam Neeson urged to run for First Minister
Hollywood superstar Liam Neeson has been urged to come home and sort the country out today, after a video appeared online in which he appears to make perfect sense, doesn’t repeatedly blame themuns or show anyone in their pyjamas. Mr Neeson is backing a campaign to replace Northern Ireland’s popular segregated education system, which has successfully taught children how to get along with their…
How to deal with election canvassers
In most democracies people have elections every four or five years, but in Northern Ireland they’ve become an annual event. Needless to say, this is a very dangerous time for your average citizen, as at any point the doorbell might ring and there could be some ganch standing outside demanding to know how you intend…