Local News

Northern Ireland is well on the way to becoming the world's largest pothole, a major international conference was told today. Addressing the World Holeiologist Society, Professor Gar MacAdam told his fellow experts that a lack of roads investment "combined with...

The PSNI has a new weapon in its armoury this summer - specially designed trailers that will see rioters placed on the naughty step until they promise to behave themselves. Costing almost £100,000 each, the trailers will be placed in...

Members of a DUP LGBT faction are planning to take part in this weekend's Pride parade, while at the same time protesting at their own involvement. "As proud members of the LGBT community, we're very much looking forward to the...

A Belfast man is in intensive care after being subjected to repeated Baby Shark attacks whilst surfing the web with his kids. Traumatised Glengormley father, Martin Brody, told us he can't get the harrowing six hour ordeal out of his...

A new study conducted by an international team of scientists has concluded that the annual Northern Irish ritual of setting fire to things is mainly enjoyed by arseholes. "It's clear that piling up huge pyres of pallets and bedecking them...

Northern Ireland is suffering from a plague of molluscs after local politicians inadvertently issued press releases appealing for clams over the marching season. It is understood that their request was relayed to God, who took it at face value and added...

Businesses and celebrities have come together to support a new charity which hopes to alleviate the plight of Gingers struggling to cope with the hot weather. Speaking at the launch of ''Ginger Aid", celebrity supporter Barra Best told an invited...

"I was pretty sure he was one of us," was the most common reaction in Ballymena this evening after a man described locally as a "blow in" was observed mowing his front lawn on the Lord's Day. It is understood that 34-year-old...

There were wild celebrations on the street of Katesbridge this morning as it was once again declared the coldest place to live on Planet Earth, even managing to out-founder Castlederg. The Co. Down hamlet is famous the world over for...

A County Armagh man has been stripped of all benefit entitlements after ignoring repeated warnings about wearing his coat indoors. It is understood that government inspectors spotted 43-year-old James Barbour wearing a Parka jacket whilst watching television at 11am this...