Despite being given the title of 'Central' Station almost 40 years ago, passengers arriving at Belfast's flagship train station have long noted that the terminus is actually in the arsehole of nowhere. It now seems their frustrations have reached the ears of Translink chiefs, who have finally decided to...
Twenty-seven people were arrested across the Province this morning, as part of a new PSNI operation to stamp-out the illegal ‘rigging’ of domestic electricity meters. The illicit practice has become increasingly popular in recent years, as NIE customers use special...
A bizarre error has seen the son of God mistakenly make his Easter return to a small Co Antrim village, the Ulster Fry has learned. The mishap occurred after Gideons made an unholy typo in their latest Bible, which now...
Billed as a transport revolution for Belfast, the new Glider buses have been in operation since Monday. Our transport correspondent, Rhonda Bout, describes her journey. "On arrival of at the bus-stop I was delighted to see that there were several...
With weather forecasters issuing grim predictions of Biblical storms, the government has issued a stern warning that the wind is likely to reach "bin threatening" proportions. "We're at 'Bin-Con One'," said Field Marshal Edward Gough-Barracks of Downing Street's 'COBRA' crisis...
Belfast has beaten off stiff competition from Mexico City, Beijing and Strabane to scoop top spot in a United Nations survey of shite traffic. "Our judges spent 3 weeks assessing your road network," we were told by UN Secretary General António...
Protestants and Catholics actually 'get along grand' claims an undercover investigator, who says community tensions in NI are perpetuated by a team of voice actors who phone into radio stations to make bigoted rants. "We've discovered a group of actors...
Black wheelie bin collections in Belfast may be limited to the same days that the flag flies on city hall, the Ulster Fry has learned. The move would see bins collected only 18 times a year, though this will drop...
With Derry still in shock and mourning following the brutal murder of Lyra McKee, The Ulster Fry have discovered that a gang of organised criminals in the city are grooming kids to carry out vile acts for their own...
Community relations in Northern Ireland have been given a much needed shot in the arm with a plan to twin towns across the community divide. The scheme is the brainchild of top academic Professor Colin Glen, who argues that there's...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...