Twenty-seven people were arrested across the Province this morning, as part of a new PSNI operation to stamp-out the illegal ‘rigging’ of domestic electricity meters. The illicit practice has become increasingly popular in recent years, as NIE customers use special...
Despite being given the title of 'Central' Station almost 40 years ago, passengers arriving at Belfast's flagship train station have long noted that the terminus is actually in the arsehole of nowhere. It now seems their frustrations have reached the ears of Translink chiefs, who have finally decided to...
A bizarre error has seen the son of God mistakenly make his Easter return to a small Co Antrim village, the Ulster Fry has learned. The mishap occurred after Gideons made an unholy typo in their latest Bible, which now...
Billed as a transport revolution for Belfast, the new Glider buses have been in operation since Monday. Our transport correspondent, Rhonda Bout, describes her journey. "On arrival of at the bus-stop I was delighted to see that there were several...
Much of East Belfast will be decorated with Spanish flags this marching season after a local loyalist misunderstood an instruction to smuggle back 20,000 fags from a holiday in Majorca. It is understood that 36-year-old Winkie "Winkie" Bunting instead bought...
With weather forecasters issuing grim predictions of Biblical storms, the government has issued a stern warning that the wind is likely to reach "bin threatening" proportions. "We're at 'Bin-Con One'," said Field Marshal Edward Gough-Barracks of Downing Street's 'COBRA' crisis...
Belfast has beaten off stiff competition from Mexico City, Beijing and Strabane to scoop top spot in a United Nations survey of shite traffic. "Our judges spent 3 weeks assessing your road network," we were told by UN Secretary General António...
Protestants and Catholics actually 'get along grand' claims an undercover investigator, who says community tensions in NI are perpetuated by a team of voice actors who phone into radio stations to make bigoted rants. "We've discovered a group of actors...
With Derry still in shock and mourning following the brutal murder of Lyra McKee, The Ulster Fry have discovered that a gang of organised criminals in the city are grooming kids to carry out vile acts for their own...
Black wheelie bin collections in Belfast may be limited to the same days that the flag flies on city hall, the Ulster Fry has learned. The move would see bins collected only 18 times a year, though this will drop...

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