A 45-year-old office worker from County Antrim has been dismissed from his job after repeatedly wearing socks with Saturday and Sunday on them during the week. It is understood that Broughshane man Gilbert Sole used the ploy to allow him...
Belfast has beaten off stiff competition from Mexico City, Beijing and Strabane to scoop top spot in a United Nations survey of shite traffic. "Our judges spent 3 weeks assessing your road network," we were told by UN Secretary General António...
After a senior Conservative MP admitted regularly using the legal high Amyl Nitrate, better known as poppers, we sent our reporters to Stormont to see if any of our local politicians had dabbled in drug taking. What we learned...
Drivers in Belfast are said to be delighted at the announcement of a new 20 miles per hour speed limit in the City Centre. Due to be take effect from next week, the new 'restrictions' will cover the area around...
People in Holywood are described as "quite cross" today after vandals doctored one of the town's iconic name signs to read "Holewood". The pranksters appear to have been inspired by events in California, after the famous sign on the Hollywood...
After years of being Oh so Negative about blood, Northern Ireland's politicians agreed to temporarily exist in the 21st century for a short moment today, as they agreed to bring the country's laws on blood donation into line with the rest of...
This year's A Level students in Northern Ireland have shattered all previous records for jumping, the Ulster Fry has learned. Students traditionally jump in a line on receipt of their grades, as every local newspaper photographer vies for the most clichéd...
Great Victoria Street was brought to a halt today as Translink unveiled a new bus decorated with the big beardy face of Jamie Dornan. Within minutes of the news leaking on social media, hundreds of sweaty and excitable women had rushed to...
In a move seemingly designed to offend many of its readers, the Belfast Telegraph wound back the clock today with a front-page headline that screamed "6 out of 10 babies born out of wedlock". The article went on to tell...
With the weather officially moving from swelterin' to wile close, millions of flies are waiting outside homes and workplaces, ready to take advantage if someone opens a window. The revelation follows the accidental leak of a top secret dossier prepared by the commanders of...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...