Local News

A bizarre error has seen the son of God mistakenly make his Easter return to a small Co Antrim village, the Ulster Fry has learned. The mishap occurred after Gideons made an unholy typo in their latest Bible, which now...

There was widespread panic across Belfast this morning after the City Council admitted they'd ran out of actual pallets to stack bonfire pallets onto, in order to transport them across the city. "Literally all the pallets in Northern Ireland are now earmarked for burning" admitted council...

The classic playground Limerick "Old King Billy had a ten foot willy" has been voted Northern Ireland's favourite poem in a survey conducted by the University of East Strabane. The meaning of the rhyme - which reads "Old King Billy had...

Police have launched a major investigation after thieves made off with sweets valued at over £35 million from the Belfast Continental Market Pick and Mix stall. The officers believe that a "highly sophisticated group of criminals" carried out the audacious...

The debate around Northern Ireland's linguistic culture took an unusual twist today with the launch of a campaign for an English Language Act specifically tailored for the Province. The move comes from the Belfast Area Royal Society for English Speakers, a...

As hurricane Abigail wreaks its windy vengeance across Northern Ireland, the Met Office has finally admitted that giving storms girls' and boys' names is stupid. The news comes less than a month after the weather watching department announced a new...

Black wheelie bin collections in Belfast may be limited to the same days that the flag flies on city hall, the Ulster Fry has learned. The move would see bins collected only 18 times a year, though this will drop...

A waterpark event allegedly planned for Belfast this summer has been removed from Facebook over fears it is a load of auld shite. Thousands of gullible Like and Share merchants had expressed their interest in free tickets to the Summer...

The residents of Northern Ireland's poshest town are celebrating in a refined and understated manner today after learning that their town has finally been connected to piped sparkling Evian water. Hillsboroughtonians have been lobbying the authorities for decades, disgruntled that they...

Following another bomb scare today, the orchestrators of recent security alerts around the Province have today spoken of their 'pride' at finally uniting Ireland in a single unifying belief. "Our figures indicate that we're now approaching 99.98% agreement that we're...