Local News

Belfast has beaten off stiff competition from Mexico City, Beijing and Strabane to scoop top spot in a United Nations survey of shite traffic. "Our judges spent 3 weeks assessing your road network," we were told by UN Secretary General António...

In the light of the recent spate of racially motivated attacks in Belfast, the Department of Justice has announced plans to re-designate racist, sectarian and homophobic 'hate crimes' as 'dickhead crimes' for future prosecutions. Unveiling the plans, Alliance Minister David...

There were wild scenes of jubilation in Craigavon today as residents took to the streets to celebrate the town being crowned the "best place to live and work" in Northern Ireland, in a survey conducted by the Post Office. "This survey really...

Local police have admitted they are growing 'increasingly concerned', as reports of strange adults hanging around primary schools continue to flood in from across the Province. "Aye we're quite worried, if a bit confused" admitted officer John Dishcloth of the PSNI's Mysterious Goings-On Division....

Political talks at Stormont were dealt a huge setback yesterday, after news emerged of the senseless shooting of a U2 video in Belfast. Police were called to a scene near Donegall Road yesterday, after residents reported seeing a number of actors...

Celebrity weather villain Frank Mitchell is the man to blame for our Autumnal weather conditions, as he's selling off the Northern Irish summertime to the highest bidder. The Ulster Fry came across this listing on the popular auction site eBay whilst...

As unfounded rumours spread that Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are to call their second child Easton, the Ulster Fry can reveal that the couple will in fact opt for the name Bangor, in honour of the affluent North Down...

Following the news that many retired paramilitaries have fully embraced democracy and are using their influence to line their pockets, a new paramilitary organisation has been setup to tackle the criminal activity of old paramilitary organisations. "We've had enough of...

There is growing concern among community representatives in East Belfast after a local man added a second flag to his home, and immediately declared himself "100% more loyal" than his single flagged neighbour. The incident, which occurred in Aughrim Street, launched a...

Northern Ireland Road Service have confirmed that the ejjit who nearly killed you, himself and everyone on an oncoming bus whilst overtaking you at around 127mph - will be about twenty three feet ahead of you at the next...