Sport

There was anger amongst local homophobes today, as thousands of men dressed in skin-tight leather outfits descended upon Portrush to shove motorised contraptions between their arse cheeks and chase each other around the town. "We cannot stand idly by whilst our beautiful north coast is overrun by leather-clad men...

Thousands of people who completed a small section of today's Belfast Marathon were left even more red-faced today after Belfast City Council officially branded their category the "Fun-Sized Marathon". The move has created major embarrassment for lots of these entrants, many of whom have been feverishly...

In the light of the controversial decision to omit prominent Northern Irish sports people like Carl Frampton, Jonathan Rea, Bethany Firth and Jackie Fullerton from the Sports Personality shortlist this year, BBC Executives have confirmed that in future the...

After leaking info about high profile athletes Chris Froome, Bradley Wiggins & Mo Farah in recent days, Russian hackers have now released data showing what substances Irish athletes were taking during the Rio Olympics. "Some of the stuff the Irish team were on would...

Everyone is looking forward to settling down and watching the normal shite that television channels spew out, after two solid weeks of watching annoyingly talented, healthy young people doing sport. According to the University of Craigavon, Olympic fatigue began to...

Animal welfare charities are fearful that small children everywhere will be demanding dancing horses this Christmas, following Great Britain's Gold Medal in yesterday's dressage. Charlotte Dujardin, which is French for something to do with gardens, scooped top spot whilst sitting...

Men are continually taking credit for sports related stuff despite having had no involvement in the actual events, the Ulster Fry has learned. "In pubs across the country right now, men, most of whom have never even travelled to their team's home ground, are banging on...

Following the disappointment of Paddy Barnes getting his pan knocked in today, Northern Ireland's gold medal hopes received a well needed boost with the announcement that Marching will become an official sport at the 2020 games in Tokyo. "The IOC were really impressed by our presentation"...

With grim stories about the shoddy facilities at the Olympic Village in Rio still emerging just hours before the opening ceremony, the IOC have admitted it's design is based on County Tyrone. "When we were asked to build a 'village' we panicked" admitted Brazilian architect, Flavio Flavela....

Following Carl Frampton's stunning win in the early hours of this morning, the World Boxing Association has announced that it's to rename its title in honour of the North Belfast legend. Frampton has been collecting world titles like a prize fighting...