The mysterious lack of staff on the tills of Lidl stores has finally been explained, after an undercover investigation conducted by The Ulster Fry revealed that they are all out the back running a global network of secret agents. Our...
US President Donald Trump has revealed that he "really, really wants to go to Bangor" during his proposed visit to the UK in June. "Some good friends of mine, reliable friends, have told me that Bangor is a "must visit"...
EU leaders have agreed to delay Brexit until after The Twelfth, amid growing fears that travel chaos would prevent Orangemen and bands from across Europe getting to the parades. It is understood that Theresa May made an impassioned plea to...
With Gareth currently causing property damage and travel chaos across the country, his mum has told the Ulster Fry that he's grounded when he gets home. "He was always such a good boy, I don't where I went wrong!" a...
Following years of research and development by emotionally unstable, passive-aggressive drunks, experts have finally recognised gin drinking as a new branch of science. "Consuming gin is now so complex and sophisticated that you need masters degree in chemistry to make...
A Hillsborough woman is said to be "spitting feathers" after that New York Times accent survey yoke that's doing the rounds said she had the same accent as people from Lisburn. 38-year-old Cassandra Campbell-Featherstone-Smythe told The Ulster Fry that she...
After centuries of people saying how much they dislike the small green vegetables that garnish dinner plates each Christmas, sprouts have finally admitted they hate people too. "I know one oddball who still thinks humans are nice," revealed 3 month old...
Centuries of religious conflict came to an end last night when Pope Francis made the startling admission that Protestant churches serve a more impressive array of baked goods than their Catholic counterparts. In an exclusive interview with The Ulster Fry,...
Pope Francis looks set to honour Ireland's top 'Golden Cleric' during his visit to the country this weekend, The Ulster Fry has learned. It is understood that the Pontiff hopes to make a special pilgrimage to Craggy Island where he...
A Belfast civil servant has become the first person in Europe to be executed under the EU's stringent new General Data Protection Regulations (GDPR). It is understood that 28-year-old Mal Ware left his desk at the Department of the Agriculture,...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...