After centuries of people saying how much they dislike the small green vegetables that garnish dinner plates each Christmas, sprouts have finally admitted they hate people too. "I know one oddball who still thinks humans are nice," revealed 3 month old...
Centuries of religious conflict came to an end last night when Pope Francis made the startling admission that Protestant churches serve a more impressive array of baked goods than their Catholic counterparts. In an exclusive interview with The Ulster Fry,...
Pope Francis looks set to honour Ireland's top 'Golden Cleric' during his visit to the country this weekend, The Ulster Fry has learned. It is understood that the Pontiff hopes to make a special pilgrimage to Craggy Island where he...
A Belfast civil servant has become the first person in Europe to be executed under the EU's stringent new General Data Protection Regulations (GDPR). It is understood that 28-year-old Mal Ware left his desk at the Department of the Agriculture,...
Royal observers are said to be "stunned" today, after Prince Harry and his bride to be Meghan Markle announced that they had moved their wedding from Windsor Castle to Windsor Park. "It has a better atmosphere, and is closer to...
A gathering of religious thinkers has accepted that the existence of Sammy Wilson means that it is 'highly unlikely' there is any kind of supreme creator in heaven. Leaders from all the main world religions attended the meeting, which was...
Following a tweet by former Ulster Unionist Lord Kilclooney calling Irish PM Leo Varadkar a 'Typical Indian' - dissident republicans have mistakenly ordered a hit on Hollywood heart-throb George Clooney, the Ulster Fry has learned. "We were on WhatsApp talkin'...
People across Northern Ireland have reacted with "fear and awe" after a strange yellow object appeared in the sky above the province. The unexplained phenomenon brought thousands of bewildered people staggering out of homes and workplaces, blinking uncontrollably, in scenes...
Russian leader Vladimir Putin has ridiculed claims that he blocked a chemical toilet while staying in a static caravan during a recent UN summit. "This is a western conspiracy aimed at discrediting our government," he told reporters. "In my country...
As Russian diplomats are expelled across Europe in their droves, a UK government source has claimed that they are also to blame for the collapse of power-sharing in Northern Ireland. "Sure Northern Ireland used to have really warm tropical weather"...

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Ryanair begin charging customers to look out the window

In the aftermath of today's Ryanair theft scandal, in which hackers stole $5 million from the company, the famously frugal airline have announced their latest money-spinning innovation - which charges passengers to look out...